For my community experience, I interviewed a staff member at the Center for Women and Children in Crisis. The first part of this experience that opened my eyes to the reality of some of the horrors women and children face was that I had to conduct the interview over the phone because so much about their location and work is confidential. They do this to protect their clients from their abusers. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be put in that situation, and hadn't considered the necessity of such a policy until I was on the phone asking if I could interview a staff member.
The Center for Women and Children in Crisis (CWCIC) provides shelter and assistance to victims of domestic violence, and occasionally victims of sexual assault. Their shelter has about 30 beds for them to stay in for a period of months, and they also have about 8 homes that they call "transitional housing" for women and children who need more assistance after leaving the shelter. The woman I interviewed is the social worker in charge of transitional housing. She gave me a lot of insights into things that I had never considered.
I didn't understand how widespread of a problem domestic violence really is until I talked to her. They mainly serve women and children from Utah County, and even have additional outreach centers in Heber City and Nephi. That was hard for me to consider. I want to believe that we are safe and happy in this area, but there are a lot of women and children in our community who do not feel safe and are actually in horrible situations. This is a fact that I don't like confronting. The impact this has on their lives is awful to think about. It's actually really uncomfortable for me to acknowledge this, but if we do not realize what a big problem this is, then we leave a lot of people in really terrible situations. The social worker (she never told me her name, because it was a different social worker than I was originally going to speak with) told me that they are usually full. I forgot to ask during the course of our conversation, but that made me wonder if there are a lot of women and children who can't get the help that they need because their places for shelter are full. It bothers me that this isn't something we talk about more in our community. We are so focused on our own lives that we fail to really consider those who are most in need of help. Yes, the CWCIC does receive a lot of community support, mainly in the form of donations, and they also receive support from the police, but I don't think that we really understand that these are real people facing very hard problems. I think it's easy to feel disconnected from the people that we serve when we aren't in direct contact with them. It makes it easier for us to feel good about how we're living our lives and what is going on in the world around us when we don't get emotionally connected or involved. I know that at least for me, I can be really sensitive so avoiding hard knowledge might be somewhat of a defense mechanism. But I also think that's a really selfish way to live. It makes me lose some of my connection with other people and makes it harder to truly serve them from a place of love and humility.
I also asked about the impact the CWCIC has on children. The social worker says that it has a positive impact on their emotional well-being because it gives the children a place to finally feel safe. That broke my heart. It wasn't really a disruption for me, but it's definitely something I think needs to be acknowledged. It is so so sad that children can live in fear and hurt for such a long time. That's not a healthy way for them to live, and it's extremely heartbreaking.
Going to the CWCIC does have a negative impact on children's education. They often have to switch schools when they move to the shelter or after they leave the shelter, and a lot of their mothers don't have cars, so transportation to those schools is very difficult to arrange. Because it's such a hassle, some of the children don't end up going to school at all and just sit in the shelter all day. It's hard for me to wrap my head around that, because education is obviously such a big part of my life and something I'm passionate about. I have often thought that education is the most important thing for children and for individuals, so the fact that outside forces could disrupt that is uncomfortable for me. In order for me to change my thinking, I would have to acknowledge that there are some things that are more pressing than education and that, sometimes, it isn't really possible for a child to attend school. My first instinct with this is to start brainstorming solutions or to think, "Well, if they really tried, I'm sure they could get the kids to school," but that's again a really selfish place to come from. I don't understand the situations these women and children come from and are in. I should not judge them, and the fact that judgment is one of my first instincts doesn't say something very good about me. It's damaging to my views of the world, and also damaging to those I judge because it means I am less likely to empathize when they are in a situation that demands at least that I be sympathetic and loving.
The CWCIC faces financial challenges in its running, because it is funded by grants. They never know when they'll get a grant, so it can be hard to know where they stand financially.
One thing that the social worker talked about that I hadn't considered is the experience of undocumented immigrants. These immigrants don't have a lot of resources available to help them, so there is only so much the workers at CWCIC can do for them. They do provide legal assistance and shelter, but the women need to have a way to pay for shelter and help if they need it long-term. I had never thought about the effect being an undocumented immigrant could have in such a perilous situation. I already thought that we need immigration reform, but this challenged my perspective even more. I have believed that we need a way for undocumented immigrants to have a path towards citizenship, especially in families, but what about when their families are in trouble? I don't know if my previous beliefs are enough for the help these women and children really need. Challenging my own beliefs is hard, but I think it's something that I need to think about. If I keep my beliefs, I think it plays back into the fear we were discussing in class about immigrants. However, it harms families and individuals.
One last disruption I had in my interview was when I asked if the social worker believes that there is enough community awareness about how widespread the problem of domestic violence is. Her answer was that there is not, and that it is mainly because most of the people in positions of power are men. I really have a hard time with the concepts of gender discrimination and male privilege. I would not consider myself a feminist by today's standards, simply because I think that women have come a long way from how we were oppressed in the past and that we don't really have a lot to complain about anymore. But thinking about this more, I realized that the fact that the men in power don't realize how big of a problem this is and how much they need to fight it is male privilege. The fact that so many women and children are abused is not okay. And that's something that I might need to fight against. That's really hard for me to realize and consider. I hate conflict and like to think that we have it pretty good as women in Utah County. If I keep thinking that way, I think that I am supporting structures of power that I'm just now starting to acknowledge.
I learned so much about in the course of my interview about the Center for Women and Children in Crisis. I think in order to really consider the wider views of humanity I heard about and have been thinking about, I need to give up a lot of my preconceived notions as well as my selfishness and pride. It requires that I approach the world with an open heart and be willing to reconsider my own beliefs for the good of others.
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